INSIDE MY HEAD
STORY OF A GIRL: BEAUTIFUL, KIND YET REJECTED BY HER OWN PARENTS
Anna walked out of the room with unsteady steps. All this had happened too fast for her to grab the meaning of it. She knew that this day would come one day but she had never given it a great deal of thought. She sat at the steps and watched the sun. It would be dark in a few minutes. The evening was quiet and people were getting back home from work. She was jealous of them, jealous that they could live on normally while she had lost everything that she had ever had.
This orphanage had been her home since the day her mother had left her at the doorsteps. She was eight then and they had divorced just a few months before. People say that divorce of their parents is the hardest thing that a kid can go through, she knew how far from truth that was. What followed the divorce was a painful custody battle; none of her parents wanted her.
After all these years, she had learnt to call this place home, the place where her friends were. It was the place where she felt wanted, a feeling that she craved for since that rejection. She looked around the place, each place held a memory, as if her whole life had been crammed into this small place. She was sixteen now and she had been given a day to pack and leave. They had offered her a job but she was too furious with them to accept it. She knew that there was nothing they could have done, but it just didn’t feel right. The kids were playing in the ground in front of her and she remembered the time they used to spend there talking. The games they played, the memories were too painful.
She knew that she wasn’t done with pain, the reckless world was waiting for her and she had no idea what she was going to do for a living. She had just got a few bucks saved for the job she had done in the orphanage, a few hundred dollars. For now she had to rely on that. Before that she had to break the news to Laura. Laura had been her room mate for the last eight years. Laura was two years younger to Anna and like a sister to her.
Laura was cleaning some stuff when Anna walked in. By the colour of her face Laura knew that something was wrong. She came and stood by Anna and rested a hand on her shoulders.
“What’ wrong? Are you okay?” Anna didn’t reply at first but she realized that an answer was necessary. “I’m fine” she managed to say.
“Laura, I need to leave tomorrow” she finally blurted out.
“But where are you going?” she wasn’t making any sense to Laura.
Anna tried to soften the blow as much as possible but it still hit her hard. She explained all of it though she said that she had a job.
“But you can’t go just like that. I will talk with them” Laura said between her tears. Anna opened her mouth to say something but a lump formed in her throat that made her want to cry. She wanted to stay strong for Laura so she kept quiet and just shook her head to make Laura understand. Laura’s childish protest made it even harder for her. Laura hugged her tight in her arms and kept whispering, “I won’t let you go”
Anna could have done nothing. A tear escaped her eyes and fell on Laura’s shoulders.
“It’s okay. I will be around”
The words sounded hollow even to her own ears. But she had to lie because Laura was in no mood to listen. It was a great deal of time before she was quiet again.
Anna kept off packing till Laura slept. If she would have started packing it would have seemed real that she was leaving. And she didn’t want others to know about it too.
After Laura slept that night, she started packing. There was no energy left in her, she felt fatigued and she had nothing to look forward to. She looked at the sleeping figure of Laura, a terrible urge came to cry but she refrained. She was strong, or was she?
The next morning she left a note below Laura’s pillow that said she would be seeing her soon enough. It would tear her heart to see Laura cry when she left, so she decided to leave at this hour when a few were up. As she walked down the steps, she tasted her own tears. She wanted someone to find her and stop her from leaving. She felt weak, terribly weak. She felt like calling out to someone for help but she knew she had to do this alone. She walked out of the gate. She hailed a taxi and sat in. The taxi drove on and she looked back to catch a glimpse of the place that had been her home. She didn’t have to be strong now, she cried.