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INSIDE MY HEAD

A letter for my ex

A woman dumps her boyfriend because she thinks he’s no more fun, she wants someone new. She soon finds someone else with a nice bank balance. The man whom she dumped decides to write her a letter and explain how he feels.

 

Dear ex,

First of all, I want to apologize that I didn’t use your name to greet you above. Well, it’s not that I believe that even mentioning your name would bring evil to my life, but then again why take a chance?

Love! This letter is not to accuse you of anything or to remind you that I feel awful because you dumped me. I am sure that it was me because of whom the relationship ended. Of course, it was me who failed to meet the high standards of yours. I want you to know that I never blamed you for anything. It was my fault that mine pocket wasn’t big enough for you and I couldn’t expect you to live with a person who ain’t a millionaire. It was my fault that I wasn’t good in bed as you were, but you shouldn’t have expected me to be for I am not even remotely as experienced as you in bed. You have been sleeping around since dinosaurs roamed the earth, so nobody could possibly be better than you.

Anyways, I heard about your new boyfriend. I am sure you would have more fun with him than me, after all I have heard that he is quiet a catch. He also has all the credentials in your checklist. Sorry! Didn’t mean to pry but came across your checklist one night in your drawer. Congrats for your success. As far as I can remember, I also was once described as a good catch, but now I am not. It’s not you that I blame, it was my fault. You didn’t beg me to buy those expensive things for you; you just bugged my ears off. That ain’t bad, I think.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I am writing this letter. I mean you made it clear that you wanted nothing more from me. The arrangement was quiet cozy because I had nothing more to give. By the way, your “Move On” theory is pretty cool. “Destroy one, move on”

Sorry! It was rude of me to say that and I don’t mean it at all. Since I was a kid, I have always been brutally honest; it’s becoming a habit now. I take my statement back.

I know it has been a few months since we broke up, yet I haven’t been able to get my mind off you. You probably would even have forgotten my name. I would need some more time for I am not as experienced at this as you are.

Someone as experienced as you are can never be wrong, as those things which you said to me cannot be wrong. I remember that whenever I gave you a gift you told me that I always make the wrong choices.

Now, after the breakup as I look at my relationship with you, I know that you are right as always, my choice is awful. Thanks for your help to let me decide.

 

With love

The man who makes wrong choices

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This entry was posted on 06/20/2012 by in Humor and tagged , , , , , , .
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